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Category archive: Australasia

Tuesday January 27 2015

Lexington Green, here:

What if … ?

What would a history of the British Empire look like if it did not use the “rise and fall” metaphor?

What would that history look like if it examined not just the political framework or just the superficial gilt and glitter, or just the cruelty and crimes, but the deeper and more enduring substance?

What if someone wrote a history of the impact of the English speaking people and their institutions (political, financial, professional, commercial, military, technical, scientific, cultural), and the infinitely complex web of interconnections between them, as a continuous and unbroken story, with a past a present … and a future?

In other words, what if we were to read a history that did not see a rising British Empire followed by a falling Empire, then a rising American Empire which displaced it, but an organism which has taken on many forms over many centuries, and on many continents, but is nonetheless a single life?

What if we assume that the British Empire was not something that ended, but that the Anglosphere, of which the Empire was one expression, is something that has never stopped growing and evolving, and taking on new institutional forms?

What if it looked at the unremitting advance, the pitiless onslaught, universal insinuation, of the English speakers on the rest of the world, seizing big chunks of it (North America, Australia), sloshing up into many parts of it and receding again (India, Nigeria, Malaya), carving permanent marks in the cultural landscape they left behind, all the while getting wealthier and more powerful and pushing the frontiers of science and technology and all the other forms of material progress?

What if jet travel and the Internet have at last conquered the tyranny of distance which the Empire Federationists of a century ago dreamed that steam and telegraph cables would conquer? What if they were just a century too early?

What if linguistic and cultural commonalities are more important than mere geographical location in creating political unity in this newly shrunken world?

I recall musing along the same kind of lines myself, a while back.

The important thing is, this mustn’t be advertised first as a plan.  If that happens, then all the people who are against the Anglosphere, and who prefer places like Spain and Venezuela and Cuba and Hell, will use their ownership of the Mainstream Media to Put A Stop to the plan.  What needs to happen is for us to just do it, and then after about two decades of us having just done it, they’ll realise that it is a fate (as the Hellists will describe it) accompli.

Because, guess what, we probably are already doing it.

Thursday January 22 2015

This morning I had fun keeping half an eye on one of those Big Bash 20/20 games they are having just now over in Oz. 

This morning‘s hero was a certain Jordan Silk of the Sydney Sixers, who slogged five such boundaries against the Sydney Thunder.  And thanks to the www, I immediately learned about what a long neck the man has.

Below, on the left, Jordan Silk, and on the right, former England bowler Gladstone Small:

imageimage

Silk has a huge neck, but Small has no neck at all.  I imagine the (cricket part of the) internet is awash with pictures of these two guys, side by side.

The game was what they call these days a roller coaster ride.  One moment half of Sydney was cheering.  Next moment it was the other half cheering.  Thunder looking like walking it, with the sixers on seventy something for 5 after 13 overs.  Then someone is reminded of his team’s name and hits three consecutive sixes to swing it the Sixers’ way.  But the Sixers still need way over fifty off the last three overs.  In over 18, they get 25!  But, next (penultimate) over: 1, 4, W, 1, 1, 1.  Thunder look like winners.  Sixers still need 23 of just the one last over.  Someone called Lalor then comes on to bowl the last over, with bowling figures so far of 3 overs 1 maiden (a maiden in 20/20 being a miracle) 6 runs 4 wickets.  And Lalor then goes for 23, and the Sixers win on the last ball.  Jordan Silk and his big neck score two sixes off balls 2 and 3 of the final over.  But Silk gan only get a single off ball 4, which swings the match back towards Thunder.  But then, a tailender, needing 8 off two balls, promptly hits two fours, from his second and third balls faced.

Quite a game.

The one thing I really do not like about cricket writing is whether to put two or 2, four or 4, six or 6, twenty or 20, etcetera.  Comments about that, anyone?

Sunday December 21 2014

Incoming from Michael Jennings:

As of this morning, thirteen successive Australia v India tests have been won by the home side. Seven of these matches have been won (and hosted) by India, and six by Australia. If Australia win the remaining two tests in this series (which may or may not happen) this will be the fourth successive Australia v India series to be a whitewash to the home side.

He was talking about this game.

Cricket has been a bit of a wasteland for me lately, what with county cricket being in hibernation and England playing nothing but one day cricket, which they are rather rubbish at.  They have been preparing for the forthcoming one day World Cup, by losing a one day series in Sri Lanka and then by replacing their captain.  But the feeling among cricket’s chattereres is that sacking Cook will improve England, and one day knock-out tournaments are such a lottery that I will live in hope, for as long as there is any.

Saturday November 08 2014

My rule about being a sports fan is be very happy when your teams are winning, but relax when they aren’t.  Enjoy the good stuff.  Let the bad remind you that it’s just games.  I am not, in other words, a “real fan”, the sort of who puts his entire happiness at the mercy of events that are wholly out of his control.

And just now I am happy, because two autumn rugby internationals have just kicked off, Wales v Australia and England v NZ, and in both games the Brit teams have scored early - and frankly very surprising – tries.  7-0 Wales.  5-0 England.  This is the kind of thing you must enjoy while it is happening, without assuming that it will get any better, in fact while assuming that it is pretty much bound to get worse.  Protective pessimism.  Am watching Wales v Oz on the telly.  Highlights of Eng NZ on the telly later.

And Australia score under the posts.  7-7 with the easy kick (yes).  But, according to the BBC:

New Zealand are reeling from England’s blitz start.

Don’t you just love it when the other fellows reel.  Reeling is something only now done with an -ing on the end.  Why is that?

I am giving a talk on Jan 6th at Christian Michel’s about Sport Being A Substitute For War.  Just thought I’d mention that.  I will try to write it down and will thus be able to shove it up here afterwards.

And NZ have now scored.  5-5 with a kick to come.  And Oz have now scored another.  Wales 7 Oz 12 with a kick to come. I must stop.  Three antipodean tries have been scored since I started writing this. It’s only games.

Or is it?  Wales Oz 7-14, but Eng NZ 8-5, to England.  And now Wales have scored in the corner.  Wales 14 Oz 14.  I remember when rugby was played in mud and you were lucky to see a single try in an entire match.  So far there have been six tries in under half an hour.  Make that seven because Oz have just scored again.

Monday February 24 2014

The Six Nations has been its usual unpredictable self this year.  Italy lost to Scotland to claim the Wooden Spoon, or so it looks.  Can either of them win any games during the last two weekends?  While above them, Ireland, England, Wales and France are all played three won two.  All the results are here.

Those top four provide us with a typically delightful Six Nations circle of scores.  France beat England 26-24.  But last Friday, Wales hammered France 27-6.  In round two, Ireland crushed Wales 26-3.  So, did England then lose to Ireland by a margin of 2 + 21 + 23 points?  No, they beat Ireland 13-10.

England’s winning try against Ireland was a thing of beauty.  I recall saying here (here) that England’s loss to France didn’t really bother me, and that England actually looked pretty good.  Against Ireland they proved me right.

A clue to that strange circle is, however, that of the first nine games, seven have been won by the home side, including all four games in that circle.  The only home defeats were when Italy lost to Scotland, and when Scotland lost to England.

Meanwhile, the cricket series going on between South Africa and Australia is terrific.  The games all kick of at 8.30am England time, which makes them the perfect cure for Ashes Lag.  Australia won the first game, and I made a point of tuning in promptly for the start of the second game.  Sure enough, Australia soon had South Africa reeling at 11-2.  But from then on it was all South Africa.  They won inside four days, having been desperate to stop it going to five, because the forecast for day five was rain, rain, rain.  But was it?  I just tried to find out what the weather was like on Feb 24th, but all you get on the www is forecasts.  No reports of the past.  The weather of the past is another country, it seems.

It may be that the Australia win at Centurion, an away win, will be the exception.  England beat Australia 3-0 in England.  Australia smashed England 5-0 in Australia.  Meanwhile NZ were beating India in NZ.  Now South Africa to beat Australia in South Africa?  Mitchell Johnson won the first game for Australia, then did nothing in the second, but I think I heard that the pitch for the third game will suit Johnson, so maybe it will be an Australia win.

LATER: I nearly forgot about this, this being Afghanistan Under 19s beating Australia Under 19s, at cricket.

Wednesday January 29 2014

Here.

England’s men, on the other hand, are now, according to my Michael J’s calculations, 10-1 down, with one two to play.

Friday November 22 2013

I took this photo on Wednesday evening, on the way back home from one of Christian Michel’s 6/20 talks:

image

Do you think it is gloomy and grim?  Maybe so.  But Earl’s Court is London’s Australian quarter, or it was in the days of Barry McKenzie.  And today I am Loving the Aussies slightly less, although my reasons for this are this, rather than that.

Thursday November 21 2013

Time for an I-told-you-so moment.

I told the Australians not to rouse the kitten:

Darren Lehman may have made a bit of a mistake, when he called Broad a cheat for not walking when Broad was clearly out and should have been given out, and said that Australian crowds should have a go at Broad in the Ashes series this winter in Australia.  Lehman was only joking, but it was a joke he may regret.

But they went ahead and roused the kitten anyway.  Here is George Dobell reporting on Day One of the Ashes:

Rubbished, ridiculed and reduced - the front page of one Australian tabloid dubbed Broad a “smug pommy cheat” on the morning of the game - England, and Broad in particular, arrived with abuse ringing in their ears.

Broad, it was claimed by an Australian media stoked by their national coach, was little more than a medium-pacer whose disregard for the rules shamed him, while England’s batsmen were running scared of Australia’s pace attack.

But instead of wilting in the cauldron of the “Gabbatoir”, Broad appeared to revel in the occasion. Indeed, he even admitted he found himself whistling along as a large section of the crowd chanted “Broad is a w*****.”

This may be no surprise to the England camp. As part of their exhaustive preparation process - a process that was ridiculed at the start of the tour when sections of the Australian media were leaked details of England’s nutrition plans - England’s players were analysed by a psychologist and Broad was one of three who, in his words, “thrive properly on getting abuse”.

“It’s me, KP and Matt Prior,” Broad said. “So they picked good men to go at.

“It was good fun out there. I think I coped with it okay. It’s all good banter. Fans like to come, have a beer with their mates and sing along. I’m pleased my mum wasn’t here, but to be honest I was singing along at one stage. It gets in your head and you find yourself whistling it at the end of your mark. I’d braced myself to expect it and actually it was good fun. I enjoyed it.”

Australia 273-8.  Broad, so far: 20 overs 3 maidens 65 runs 5 wickets, including the first four, and including the one truly class act in the Oz top six, Clarke.

Broad thrives properly on getting abuse
Ashes black out
Who was the youngest batsman to reach 7000 runs in Tests?
Stuart Broad has a kitten heel
Interesting software NewZ
Australian selection inconsistency and getting the causal link the wrong way round
Quite a morning
Australian cricket is doomed! - or maybe not
Views from Kings College
Carnage at Adelaide
Interwar Old English pub dwarfed by modernity
NZ doing a bit better than England
New bridge in Melbourne
Sportsmanship by us – bullying by them
Boxing Day morning at the MCG
The Green alliance
No wickets in the first over shock
The Ashes: chickens and now a swallow
How quickly the mood can change!
Wagga Wagga has been flooded by the Murrumbidgee River
And it resumes …
A down and up weekend
More blood to Australia
First blood to Australia
Ashes highlights on ITV4
Nice try
Twenty ten twenty ten
I don’t usually approve of swear blogging but …
Ums and ahs
Surrey are now crap at cricket but they are sitting on a gold mine
Does Google now rule the world of computing?
Stepping forward into the abyss!
In other news …
More recorded cricket chat and some further Oval hindsights
Another Samizdata piece
Dongling at Michael’s
Brisbane church dwarfed by modernity and this posting behaving very strangely
Keith Windschuttle on history - truth - Robert Hughes
A new British citizen
Guido Fawkes gets Douglas Jardine wrong
New Zealand crumple at Trent Bridge
First Jaques – then Ponting – then Katich – then Hussey cleaned up
Ashes news
Fourth innings heroics
More rugby talk
Australia out! – New Zealand out! – pass forward!
Further pictorial shallowness