Also, cyclists who shout at you for not looking in their direction and getting out of their way *when they are going in the wrong direction down a one way road*.

Beautiful, truly beautiful.

A cyclist did exactly that to us when we were out with the pram the other day, except that I shouted at him. I immediately thought of filling the pram with bricks (having taken the baby out first) and going out in a private vigilante spree against the cyclist menace.

Oddly enough, I have some sympathy with cyclists who ignore red lights. I always think of an Italian chap interviewed on Top Gear once who, when Clarkson joked that Italians don’t follow rules, said, “why would I stop at a red light when nobody is coming?”

But cyclists should not ignore red lights when *I* am coming.

(The word I must submit that I see below is, appropriately: “hospital32").

When I was working in London many years ago, the menace of “Aggressopithecus saurocyclodon” was well on its way to becoming entrenched.

I was as a pedestrian, run over at least twice that I recall, on the pavement, outside my work, by ccyclists avoidinbg the red traffic light and skimming onto the sidewalk to get round it, before exiting to the road when it suited them. Each time I was hailed with “F*********** -aAAAArrrrrfffff!”.

Once, I actually stopped and “arrested” one doing precisely this. He turned out to be a terribly apologetic banker for Kleinwort’s (remember them anyone?), although he didn’t look it because he was dressed in all those plastic clothes they now wear. He promised not to do it again (outside my work.) - wish they were all like that. I positively wilted with embarrassment and forgiveness and sent him on his way. He swapped reminiscnences with me later, and said he was the original “model” for Clive in Alex cartoons.....

The third-party insurance premuim for cyclists deliberately going nowhere, but merely dressed up in plastic and goggles, on 3-gram bikes worth £3,995 each, will be £466,000 per year. |No fail.

Wow, I am impressed by how much hostility there is to aggressive cyclists here: I thought it was only me. I think part o it is that cyclists often manage to be sanctimonious at the same time.

My worst experience occurred when I was walking down the footpath beside a road in London and a cyclist collided into me from behind. He attempted to cycle past me but made a misjudgement, collided with me and came off his bike and landed on the concrete. The incident probably ended up worse for him than it did for me, and on top of that he tried to apologise, but I have to confess that my response was to swear at him with considerable length and profanity. I couldn’t really help it.

What a photograph. I e-mailed it to my (also non-cycling )daughter;

My daughter; “That’s awful some of those cyclists must have been badly hurt”

Me; “There is no ‘may’ about it. But it is only a photograph. There is nothing personal about it, unless one thinks too much for the good of one’s own mental health.”

She; “Which I do!”

In my cycling days I did always stop at red lights.  On one occasion, as I was setting off I missed getting my foot into the toestrap.  The next thing I knew the back of the bike was sinking.  I’d been hit by the car behind.  Fortunately, the only casualty was my rear wheel but it could have been a lot worse.

"Aggressopithecus saurocyclodon” is an interesting subspecies of the Saurocyclid genus.

There have been almost no females ever observed. It is an abiding mystery to zoologists, even to Dawkins, how the species reproduces, and yet it does, in spades. Some scientists say the Wireless Tele Vision performs some of the pheromonal functions, assisted by two surrogate-mating events on the calendar, being the “Tour de France” and (in the Arctic Latitudes of the English North West) the “Iron Man” “challenge”.

Aggressopithecines are almost never observed actually travelling from one destination to another terminal one. They merely travel - at very very very high speeds, usually in shoals, and always having exocytosed the characteristic integument of silly plastic sliced hat, swimming goggles, and plastic exoskeleton. The facial expression is of extreme aggression and exertion. The mean velocity is not far short of the prevailing traffic of other eukaryotes.

Happened to me too. Walking in a bloody park, I’m hit from behind by a cyclist who gave it the “You should watch where you’re effing going!”.

Oh and they go through the red lights up here in the northern wastes too. I think you should be able to shoot them and claim a bounty for running reds.

Jesus, you’re an arsehole along with many of the people commenting.

Most cyclist stop at lights, most cyclists don’t ride on paths.  Just like most drivers do the same… Just think for a second before wishing people get killed please, maybe it’ll be someone you know next time?