Absolutely right about the cyclists Brian. I can’t stand them on the pavement. And our local PCSOs do nothing despite it being against the law. The real coppers might act but I seem to have forgotten what they even look like.

Upon closer inspection, one may notice his suggestion of theft and destruction of property may be a bit more pertinent than his theological disagreements.  This idiot left-wing atheist has been around for a while, suggesting statolatry according to his ‘science’, while, of course, ignoring the science of economics.

Now, of course, he’s demonstrating he’s forgotten a lesson that should have been learned in kindergarten- don’t steal other people’s crackers. 

Yeah, I’m angry, but I don’t expect atheists to understand the depths of my anger at the suggestion of this particular action.  But I do expect that he wouldn’t want me to steal anything, particularly something he values highly and then destroy it with much fanfare.

I have been wanting an excuse to talk about

“Aggressopithecus Saurocyclodon”

for some time. This may be a species in the genus “Homo”, but I suspect not, for its diet, mating rituals (if any) and other habits preclude this.

Individuals fall into two types:
(1) The “courier/work-traveller” - it wears no special clothing, and travels on any nondescript bicycle, very fast, ignoring road signs, traffic signals, pavements-vs-roadways, other traffic etc. It is invariably male, no females having been observed for many years, so hopefully may go extinct. It shouts “faaaaaa** OFFF!” if you challenge it.

(2) The “sports/club-cyclist” - this wears typically skin-tight coloured “sportswear”, plus a plastic hat and funny occular prostheses which obscure its eyes. It is invariably (almost) male and aged at least 35-40. It typically travels in groups, on machiens weighing at most 3 grams. It is impossible to overtake safely, travelling as fast as it does. Very few females have been seen, and are superficially indistinguishable from the males.

Personally, I would insure cyclists off the roads. They are a menace to workers. Their third-party cover alone would come to £466,000 per year per man, and for comp? Well, now you’re asking!