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In which I continue to seek part time employment as the ruler of the world.

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Wednesday January 17 2007

According to Idiot Toys, the Dyson DC14 really sucks:
image

This thing definitely does have incredible suction. As a test, I vacuumed the house with the Oreck and Hoover first (we’ve got about 4 vacuums and a steamer in the house other than the Dyson). As usual, they picked up some dirt. Then, I broke out the Dyson. After vacuuming the study, 2 bedrooms and a hall, I had filled up the Dyson. Incredible. The master bed and bath haven’t been touched yet and already the Dyson had picked up about 6 times the amount of crap the other vacuums failed to get.

While frightening, it was also heartening to see that Dyson’s claims were true. It definitely had more suction power and the suction did not stop when the canister started filling up. It also gave me a chance to test out how easy and messy it was to dump out all the dirt that had been collected.

Yes, I was scared that dust and dirt would fly everywhere defeating the advantage of going bagless. Thankfully, that fear didn’t materialize. My particular Dyson has some trouble getting that canister part out. It should be a simple press of a button, but mine takes some fiddling. After a while, that simple button press does work and it comes off cleanly. Emptying it at that point is easy. Just press another button, and the bottom falls out. As long as my garbage can is pretty empty, I can just stick that canister in deep and the dust won’t fly high enough to escape the sides of the can. Oreck’s claims of canister messiness are just great exaggerations and forced flaws. Bags are just as messy when full. Messier actually because I can’t stick the Oreck in a trashcan when taking the bag out.

So, the plan is finally revealed.  Idiot Toys is a great big advert for the Dyson DC14.  First, spend three years building credibility by trashing every other gadget ever produced in the whole world.  Then say nice things about the Dyson DC14.  Die, evil Oreck!

Note: the Dyson DC14 should not be confused with the McDonnell Douglas DC14, which they never actually made but might have done.  Idiot Toys often has this joke about how this Samsonyota XYZPQR mobile phone should not be confused with the XYZPQR Massey Ferguson Combine Harvester, with a picture of the XYZPQR Massey Ferguson Combine Harvester, with “XYZPQR Massey Ferguson Combine Harvester” underneath it, and I am copying that joke like some stupid blog commenter who thinks that repeating jokes that the blogger just told is funny, or like that idiot played by John Hannah in Sliding Doors who keeps retelling Monty Python jokes.  How could Gwyneth Paltrow ever be interested in someone who does that?  In Sliding Doors, one of the Gwyneth Paltrows dies.  Why?  Two Gwyneth Paltrows is an excellent idea.  Why couldn’t both John Hannahs die?

You explained that very well.

Posted by Idiot on 17 January 2007
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