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In which I continue to seek part time employment as the ruler of the world.

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Thursday August 05 2010

Today, I saw, on the side of a bus, and I immediately realised that here was a great opportunity for a flat graphic for this blog, this:

image

And since that graphic has put me in the mood for more graphic flattery, let me add what it also said on the bus, just below the bit I have showed you, namely the title of the movie, which is this:

image

Which I found here, where I also found a horizontal line of pictures, in the form of the cast:

image

Two thoughts.  One, I’ve thought for years that all these tough old git guys should get together and make a team movie.  And second, consider the non-participants.  Two spring to mind: Van Damme, and that one who was in Under Siege whose name temporarily escapes me, which is such a great movie that I didn’t think it silly even though he was the star of it.  I’m guessing that Van Damme still reckons he still has a few more real tough guy movies in him, of the sort with only one tough guy in them, so doesn’t want to admit to being expendable.  And I’m further guessing that the Under Siege guy thinks it is all beneath his dignity. What is that guy’s name.  (I know, Google.  But I’m not really asking.)

Jason Statham is interesting.  I’m guessing he has no problem admitting that he regards the old guys as revered role models, and has no problem being in the same movie with them.  Quite the opposite.  I’ve got a lot of time for Jason Statham.  It can’t be easy turning yourself from Jason Statham into, if you get my meaning, Jason Statham.  Yet Jason Statham accomplished this.  Impressive.

If Under Siege Man does think this movie beneath him, this could be a big miscalculation, because I have high hopes it.  For starters, Stallone is the lead writer and mastermind, and given that Stallone wasn’t just in Rocky, but he also wrote and masterminded Rocky, we can be certain that his off-screen IQ is way higher than his IQ on screen.  And the comic opportunities inherent in this assemblage of action acting talent are considerable.

Of course, it could just be that they all hate Under Siege Man, and he wasn’t asked.  You get the feeling watching Under Siege Man’s other movies that he may actually take all that oriental philosophy nonsense he spouts seriously.  If that’s the case that would make him intolerable company.  You would only spend time with him if you had to, like if you needed the money.  But that could all be quite wrong.  Maybe he just couldn’t fit it in.

It’s good to see Schwarzenegger back doing what he does best, what with him having totally failed to sort out the Californian state budget.

Who is Terry Crews?  It turns out he’s the replacement for “50 Cent”.  Presumably Mr Semi-Dollar was the original replacement for Wesley Snipes.

Eric Roberts looks rather out of place, so he must be the villain, or the person they are all trying to rescue, or something similarly important to the plot but off to the side of things.

Seriously, I think this could well turn into one of those great movies that is slammed senseless by “the critics”, but which the public likes and then refuses to forget about and which eventually turns into a classic.  And after twenty years, “the critics” are all pretending that they really liked it all along, when the truth is that half of them have by then been replaced by former members of the public, who of course loved it, and they dare not continue with their stupid carping.

ADDENDUM: Obvious question I forgot to ask about this, based on something I’ve only just realised: Is Bruce Willis in this or not? On the internet, he’s not involved.  On the bus, he is.  Strange.  Could it be that the internet is inaccurate? No, that can’t be possible.  Yet, I think, on this occasion, it has really happened.