Brian Micklethwait's Blog

In which I continue to seek part time employment as the ruler of the world.

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Saturday March 11 2006

Last night, more comedy.  We met up in Piccadilly Circus at 7pm and made our way to the venue, but the comedy didn’t get under way until after 9pm.  Get there early and get a good table at the front, and wait.  Get there in the nick of time, and be jammed up against the wall at the far end.  You get what you pay for, I guess.  But when the comedy did materialise it was good and I certainly want to attend more.  The 99 Club is a sort of guerrilla operation which moves from pub to pub, I am now discovering.  Last night’s jollifications were upstairs at the Queen’s Head in Denman Street.

Because it took so long to start it also took a long time to end, and I had to go home, semi-demi-drunk, at about midnight, and immediately do a piece for CNE, which played hell with the Micklethwait Clock.  There is only so much mileage you can get out of not having a proper internet connection, and it took me a while to do my piece.

With luck, my internet maladies will be cured some time around next weekend, i.e. March 18/19, around which time I will also be getting a new computer with a three grillion megablob hard disc and a faster micro-engine, more in keeping with my media mogul type ambitions. There is no chance of any podcasts materialising before then.  An email flooded in asking about that, and that’s the answer, I’m afraid.  I remember when I was getting started doing Libertarian Alliance pamphlets.  My first few of those also took an age to emerge.  But I eventually got the hang of doing them and ended up doing over five hundred of them.  Nothing has happened in the last few weeks to deter me from being an internet broadcaster.  I’ll get there.

imageThe illuminated adverts in Piccadilly are much talked about, but are no great shakes, in my opinion.  However, they do provide a welcome light source when I am snapping Billion Monkeys, as they in their turn snap away at the Eros statue, with or without their friends in front of it.

This particular Billion Monkey’s arms, hands and camera somewhat resemble a chess knight, I think.  Click on the chess knight to make sense of it.

Billion Monkey FAQ.  How do you get your pictures properly in focus when there is not very much light about.  Answer (1): get a Billion Monkey camera with an anti-wobble device included.  These are invaluable.  Once you’ve used one, you’ll never want to go back.  Answer (2): spend less on your Billion Monkey camera, and more on your Billion Monkey storage devices, i.e. little cards.  Billion Monkey cameras all come with cards, but these are invariably woefully insufficient in how many pictures you can fit on them.  Usually it’s about ten.  This is ludicrous.  Get another and spend whatever money you can assemble on it, by which I mean a minimum of about fifty quid.  What has this to do with focussing better?  Everything.  If you have a properly capacious Billion Monkey card, you will be able to take any good picture that presents itself to you lots of times over, like David Hemmings the Real Photographer in Blow Up.  There is thus a good chance that at least one of your pictures will come out quite well.  Also, get yourself a three grillion megablob hard disc, and another three grillion magablob back-up hard disc, so that you will never be afraid of disc space running out, what with all those pictures you are taking.

And the moral is: making cheap Billion Monkey cameras take good pictures can be expensive!